Addiction is a power greater than ourselves that results in bondage. This bondage destroys the alcoholic, the addict, and families in a cycle of inter-generational self-perpetuation.
Addiction as a bondage is characterized by the loss of choice over one’s desires, beliefs, and actions: the insanity of being unable to “just say no.”
Historically, the Christian church attempted to address this bondage of addiction by identifying addiction as sin. Sin that needs confession, forgiveness, and a demonstration of new behavior. However, the alcoholic was unable to stop so the Church regarded the person as choosing to continue sinning, so therefore was ostracized, and labeled an unrepentant drunk. Until God stepped into history, this was the plight of the alcoholic. The destruction rippled out through the lives of the those afflicted.
Ice Cream:
Familiar and yummy. The basic recipe is milk, cream, sugar, and vanilla. Creative admirers have added everything from fruit, nuts, candy, flavoring and even garlic to the simple formula.
Using vanilla ice cream metaphorically to represent the basic ideas found in the Good Book, I will add chocolate to represent the basic principles found in the Big Book. Nothing fancy, just the basics.
12-Step programs have taken the basic chocolate ice cream, calling it fudge, brownie, and even double chocolate.
So has the Christian Church created vanilla bean, French vanilla, vanilla cream.
My purpose is to stick with the basics, answering the question…. how do they fit together? I believe that they do, that God having given us vanilla, gave God the opportunity to add chocolate.
The Sponge:
Once upon a time in a kitchen far far away, there lay a sponge. It was old, dirty and all dried up, lost in the back left corner behind the garbage disposal in the cabinet under the sink. It was grimy and smelly under there, with bits of garbage and trash that the roaches and rats came to forage. The sponge no longer knew it was a sponge for without water it had no way of knowing. So, it waited.
One day it was found, it was spring cleaning time and so the homeowner discovered the lost sponge. The homeowner looked at the useless sponge and thought to pitch it in the garbage but thought that it might be redeemed and used. So, it was put in a bowl of water and the sponge was set aside.
The sponge was very hard, being empty of liquid, so hard that its surface was unable to open to the fluid. It rested in the clean water with a sense of familiarity, but with resistance and fear. “What do I do?” It wondered, waiting. “What does this mean”?
The homeowner noticed its plight and stopped to gently touch the surface. Gentled, that edge relaxed and in came some water. It hurt a bit as the membranes surrounding the cells stretched against the dried rigidity of the fibers. But the water softened and soothed and so it stretched some more.
Now this was not an ordinary man-made Safeway sponge, but this sponge had grown up on the floor of the ocean off the coast of Indonesia. There it had been picked as a juvenile sponge and sold in the village market to an importer who knew the value of this one-of-a-kind sponge. Its color was the light sand of its birthplace, and it was the size of a grown man’s hand, just right for use in the kitchen. It was irregular in shape, and it never smelled bad or harbored mold.
As its time of its awakening continued, the water was refreshing and reminded the sponge of water long ago. It stretched and strained to let the cleansing water into all the cells. However, it was the warm water that helped the most as it softened the hard places more easily. The homeowner added several drops of green Palmolive soap and squeezed it gently to remove the dried in grime.
Clean, soft, full, and restored, the sponge knew just what to do: pull water in, give it out. It remembered now that it was a sponge, designed it pull water in, give it back out. The homeowner was so pleased with the results, that the sponge was displayed to all who came into the kitchen. The homeowner demonstrated just what a fine sponge it was as it pulled the water in and gave the water out. The sponge was placed in a green dish to the right side of the sink where it was ready whenever the homeowner needed it to pull the water in and give it out.
People who have been abused, neglected, and were not nurtured have hearts shriveled up, rigid and dry. Hearts of just coping. The physical heart is designed to beat to the rhythm of life, to pull the blood of life in, give it out. To give it back. The spiritual heart is designed to pull in love and give it back.
For the harmed ones, only the physical heart remains, so death has not come. They have not yet been pitched away, forever lost. They wait in the dark corners of this world for redemption. They wait to be reclaimed, restored to how they were created to be. Just as the sponge was created to pull the water in and give it back, so also was the human heart designed.
When found, just as the care of the homeowner restored the sponge, so the care of God at work through others, can carefully aid an addicted person to recovery. Gently, the cool water of refreshing affirmation and the warm water of cleansing are applied. Just as the sponge responded as a sponge would, so the heart of the person responds as it is designed. No matter how young, how early the damage occurred, there is hope in the knowledge that hearts retain the ability to respond. Just as time in the bowl for the sponge was necessary for the restoration to occur, so it is imperative for the heart to have all the time it needs. Patient waiting for the homeowner yielded delight so too can there be great joy for the recovering person.
Recovery is recovering from a substance or a behavior (using or doing). That is only 10% of the process. But 90% is the blessedness of recovery is recovering ourselves. We find the self that was lost in the addiction.
Know, though, that things worth doing seldom come easy.
There will be good days.
And there will be bad days.
There will be times when you want to turn around,
pack it up, and call it quits.
Those times tell you that you are pushing yourself. That you aren’t afraid to learn by trying.
Recovery is worth all the effort you can muster. The journey is exciting and dangerous. We are all in it for the duration for the reward is finding us, recovering ourselves. Certainly, a reward worth dreaming big.
Never, never, never give up—you are too important to waste.
Just like the sponge, open up and let the water of recovery in to restore you.
This Blog is meant to be the water of recovery for anyone in recovery. Bits and pieces as they have come over time. I have posted relevant thoughts, observations, and quotes.
I strongly suggest that you read these “Stepping Free” posts in order as the information posted is designed to build a understanding for the reader. A recovery model for long lasting freedom.