Penny and I entered, what I now consider my special place, with ease and anticipation. The Troupe was waiting for us as well as Jesus. Penny, being of faster feet, got her jump-snuggle-wiggle-lick hug first. I felt such joy watching them love each other. Creator and creature, perfect. She jumped down and moved to her companions, which gave me entrance. I got my hug, a hug with a body subtly vibrating with energy. Never wanted to let go, but Ellie came and tickled me with her trunk while Kermit hopped onto his and then my shoulder. Even Geri figured out it was greetings time. I turned away into Bear’s massive hug, and then knelt on one knee to hug dear dear Aslan. 

Greetings completed, Jesus nodded to Aslan who turned and headed to the Meadow with all the Troupe behind him. Penny looked at me, I nodded and off she went, tail wagging happily.

I turned and he said, “today is just you and me, come.” He turned to the left path, and I fell into step with him. 

I started to ask what was in store but heard the quiet voice within saying; “wait,” so I did.

We walked silently for some time. I noticed the lovely lacy leaves on the trees moving ever so slowly in the breeze. There were the usual sounds of birds, bugs, and bees in the background, but they were not visible. As we moved along, the breeze warmed and the sounds vanished. The air changed and I became uncomfortable. Just when I was about to comment, we rounded a bend and there was my answer.

A volcano. The ground beneath my bare feet became warm and then hot. I looked down and saw that my white feet were on black lava rock. It was rough even sharp, porous, and uncomfortable. The noise of the spewing lava made it impossible to talk. The air smelled like sulfur, icky rotten eggs, and was hot on my face. This was not a desirable place. 

I looked up at him, and heard, “will you choose to trust me, Mary Anne?”

My insides jumped, oh dear, a test. Frogs or dragons? Can I trust him? But what choice do I have? None really. “Yes, I choose to trust you with my spirit and my mind, but the rest of me is not liking this place.” 

“That I am familiar with, come.”

He walked us toward the opening of the volcano which brought suffering to my feet, skin, and lungs. My heart was racing, I was afraid. At the edge he stepped behind me and put his left arm firmly around my waist, his right up across my shoulders so I could rest my chin on his arm. He was holding me fast. “Continue choosing trust.”

The rock under our feet broke off and began moving toward the center of the lava. My body twitched violently, I cried out and grabbed his arms that tightened around me. “I trust you; I trust you, I trust you.” Not having a clue what that meant. I wanted to understand, to have him tell me what was going on, to explain. I wanted to understand, then believe, and then trust. Naked trust!?! “Lord, help my weak trust!”

Even as I was thinking my plea to him, I realized several things at once. First, the spiky lava under my feet had cooled and softened, it felt like standing on warm soft sand. Next, the horrid roar faded, and the heat reduced to a gentle warmth. The rock platform beneath us was steady, acting like the floor of a small elevator, moving up and down and even sideways. Solid, stable. I relaxed some in his arms and leaned against him. My need to bolt diminished.

Our platform began acting like a wide board like the boarders use to ride the surf. I had watched many of them flop on their bellies as they road the breaking waves into the beach. Nothing like the pros at Maverick. Our board moved us to the center of the lava flow. The molten magma was spewing orange and red all around us. Incomprehensible to me that we could be here. We were in a safe bubble. I remembered the fourth man in the fire that saved God’s men centuries ago. This must be how God did it. “You are correct,” came the affirmation.

Then the board lowered us down into the cone. The fire was at the edge of the bubble. “Lord,” as I gripped his arms. I got an answering squeeze. I was surrounded by death but safe in Life. I needed the bubble, he did not. 

The colors were astounding. The usual red, orange, but looking down into the heart of the volcano was white. The red, orange, and now and again, yellow flowed Into one another. Always in motion. Purple-black appeared at the edges, but then was gone. There was a rhythm, a dance to the movement of the flow. I could see that it was not just spewing as I thought, but there was an order to it all. The roar had been so quieted by the bubble that it was melodic. It ebbed and flowed with the rhythm of the eruptions. Even here there is beauty.

We began to move again, this time flowing with the exiting magma. We were riding a wave, but the lava rock board stayed level as we moved out and then down. Where to, I wondered, just as we descended into the sea. Big splash as foam, water and solidifying magma swirled around us. Then we were engulfed in boiling water. I could breathe fine in our bubble that stayed at a constant speed and temperature. We sank lower, down down.

We reached the ocean floor, and the board turned us around so I could see the flow moving down. We were backed away and as I turned my head, I saw where other flows were arriving. The sea was boiling hot, but cooler than the flow so the lava was hardening on the floor. 

“This is my way of creation. Your world was made thus and is continuing to be so shaped.”

“Ah,” was my awed response. 

We continued to move, and I saw the base of islands, some just babies being formed. I thought of the Hawaiian chain but did not know where we were. It did not matter. We moved even deeper to look down into the mouth of volcanoes just beginning to break the surface. 

By now, I was relaxed and enjoying my adventure. I was so safe, and almost all of me knew it. There was a deep part that recognized that what I was experiencing could not be happening, and so was anxious. Leaning back against him, being held in the bubble was teaching me about trust. I was to remember this.

The board began to move us up and soon we broke the surface of the water. I saw ahead a beach, where we were gently deposited. The bubble vanished, no longer needed, and I felt real soft warm sand under my feet. 

I turned to him to ask, “I am to remember that in the midst of the volcanoes of my life, that you will be there to keep me safe and secure. To hold me in your everlasting arms. That even as the fire surrounds me, I can rest in you. This is the trust you want me to develop in response to life.”

He only needed to look deeply into my being and smile, for me to accept this most important of lessons. 

We walked up to the trees, stepped onto a path and were shortly back at the Pond Place. The Troupe was waiting, but instead of greetings, stayed back. Odd. Ellie and Kermit did not even move. Bear lumbered closer but raised to full height with claws unsheathed. Aslan growled. And dear Penny began to whimper put her nose to the ground between her paws, rub and cry. This was her response to bad smells.

“I must be carrying the scent of the volcano. Please do something.”

No response, but for an idea that popped into my head. “Holy Spirit, come and blow the smells away.”

A small breeze came around our feet, gently moving in and out of our legs. It intensified as it moved up around our bodies, and then whirled up and was gone. “Thank you.”

Penny led the way in, jumping, wiggling with her happy bark to say hello. She rolled over on her back for me the rub her tummy, my homecoming ritual with her. All the Troupe came close and greeted us both. Many thumps, bumps, rubs and soft sounds of hello. We sat down to be together, and the frogs came to serenade. This was peace after the fire. What an experience. 

“Lord,” as I turned my head to thank him, only to find that he was gone. I teared up; I did not want him to leave. Even with the trust lesson, I crave his presence. Knowing, experiencing, touching presence. Jesus with skin on. I did not want to leave, to go back into a land where volcanoes come to create trust. It is hard being a human people. I want to be like Penny, rolling on her back with joy to get her tummy rubbed. So simple. So secure. So satisfying. My tears were falling now, “I need you so. My dependence on you is so complete, I am more and more miserable apart from your presence. Help me know that I know more deeply, more confidently, more realy. Help me Jesus. I feel more lost than ever.”

A breeze came up just then, gently blowing around us all. The animals lifted their noses to sniff this moving air like there was some different there. As it swirled past my nose, I could smell Him. That Rose of Sharon scent, a scent like no other. I closed my eyes and pictured him beside me. Comforting. But the tears continued. Penny crawled up to lick away them away. When I reached out to pet her, a small flame appeared in my hand. No sensation of heat, just a small tongue of fire in my palm. I moved my hand closer to look at it and heard the music of the volcano. The music of continuing creation. I began to sing along with this creation music. Words did not matter; I was in harmony with the Creator. The flame moved inside me, and the warmth of assurance spread throughout me. I took a huge breath, more content with what was to be. I could find him in the music of creation.

Aslan stood and shook, the frogs hopped and splashed away, the rest of the Troupe moved off. Penny stood, shook like her big buddy, and we moved toward the exit. “Thank you, Jesus, and thank you Holy Spirit, I am grateful.” The warmth of his smile stayed with me as we left.