1. We admitted we were powerless over alcohol — that our lives had become unmanageable.

Discovery 1-3:

We admitted we were powerless over X and our lives had become unmanageable. And helpless, no matter what we tried, we still remained unable to stop our behavior. We could not “just say no.” And so, we became hopeless. Lost all hope there could be any help.  We felt doomed. The fear was a constant companion. 

Then we learned we were not alone. Others, many many others, also admitted they were powerless over X.  

Others had unmanageable lives and lived with mental and emotional confusion.

But then we came to believe that a powered greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.

We began to have some hope. Perhaps we could find freedom from our bondage. We began to investigate just what other was there that we could access. For many of us that was the God of Christianity. 

We made a decision to turn over our will – our way of doing life – and our life – over self – over to the care of God as we began to understand about God.

We began a life-long journey into not only sobriety – freedom from the bondage of X – but a life lived radically different.  A journey of recovery from the effects of the bondage, but more importantly recovery of ourselves.  The bondage had almost destroyed who we were born to be, but now began the process of the retrieval of our identity. 

We are sick, need healing. . 

We: 

Consider this: each of us is an I. A single individual in community with other l’s to make a We. We begin our journey of healing in our 12-step community learning first, I am not alone, I’m among many who are on the same journey. And second, we are all powerless. We are not alone.

There are untold numbers of blessing as a member of our We’s. As I am not alone, I don’t have to try to function in my powerlessness, but I can be open to learning from others. The Good Book says that a 3-strand cord is not easily broken. There is strength in numbers, we gain stamina and hope in our connections. 

What’s the message? Reach out within your circles of community. Don’t let the fear of exposure of your addiction keep you into seclusion. Find a group and go! 

The song, Gracefully Broken, reminded me of our 1st Step. When we spiraled down into powerlessness and crashed into the unmanageable chaos of our lives, we’re are broken. It can take a while and lots of work to recognize that God’s loving grace allowed us to break so we can discover and live in His Grace-Power to reconstruct our lives. We finally admit that we do not have, nor never will have, the power to defeat addition. It is more powerful than we are. However, the good news is that God’s Power is more than sufficient for the task. He alone can give us lasting sobriety and help us recover the self that was stolen by the addition. For this, let us give Him thanks and praise.

We: God’s design is for people to thrive in community – not in isolation. Parents, family, extended family, school, neighbors, and friends. Addiction/codependency isolates and destroys connection, as so we remain trapped. 

We – those of us in recovery – are comprised of individuals who create the “we”. The uniting factor is the necessity of finding and living in recovery. We can find our way into lasting sobriety by learning from that “we” – the community of recovering people. No matter what the individual characteristics are – age, gender, socioeconomics, culture, language, race, or environment – the “we” is created around this common goal. Freedom from the strangle hold of addiction. 

Admitted:

Admitted: finally, begrudgingly, resentfully, fearfully, doubting.

Admitting is an act of the mind; it is a decision, an acknowledgment of a truth – I have failed. It is an act of humility. I simply can’t control what is more powerful than me.

I am no longer I charge of my life, my addiction is.

Admitting is a positive action step. 

This is a program of choosing to take action. It is a program of learning spiritual dependence instead of self-dependence.  

Would not come to know the love of God until we admit we can’t do what we can’t do – we are not able – owning our pride.

Using our will to choose – admitting the loss of control – loss of choice-power which is a fundamental human characteristic. That there is something greater than me that has robbed me of the ability to stop, I am admitting my inability to “just say no.”

Admitting is a life-long process. There are stages or steps: Pre-contemplation. Contemplation. Surrender.

When I admit I can’t, then there is space for the One who can. I can’t, He can, I’ll let Him. Then either one of two outcomes are presented. 

First, a new idea of how to open the pickle jar, a usual monthly expense Is now paid off, I find the courage to walk away, and I begin to intercede for those who are suffering. 

Second, I discover the serenity available when I accept the thing I cannot change as being His business not mine. 

When we admit, we finally accepted that we are unable to fix the problem. This takes courage. 

Powerlessness: 

“The greatness of a man’s power is the measure of his surrender.” William Booth.

The blessed paradox of our powerlessness. We are empowered by surrender.

A gift of freedom from continuing to try to control, to fix what we do not have the power to change – the addiction.  We can stop doing what we can’t do no matter how hard, how much we try, or how much I want to, we have to surrender.

As I said, powerlessness is a blessing. I get the courage, stamina, direction to do my part with the power I do have. Over my stuff. But His power is what I need to stop using or doing. The behaviors that will kill me. Thanks God!

We begin to accept that we are in a bondage that the Enemy created for us so it could control us and use us to harm others.  We are lost. Like a Prisoner of War, we are at the mercy of our captor. We have lost our freedom of choice. The Enemy comes to rob, kill and destroy, not just us but our families, our jobs and our future. Our legacy will only be harm there will be no health to pass on. Even our natural love is not enough. If there is no help, there is no hope. 

Powerless is the condition of lacking power, power to effect change. Implied is a capacity for choice making. we want to fix, to alter circumstances. According to the Good Book, humankind was given the power to choose, which was revealed by a test. A test that was failed; a choice was made to disobey. And the disobedience reaped a consequence, having to make their way in life operating in self-dependence. Followed by discovery after discovery of failure, where circumstances rendered them powerless.

Sound familiar? The Big Book tackles the problem head on…we admitted we were powerless…

I had a clear thought, we understand our powerlessness, but what to do….

The Serenity Prayer gives us a tool…God grant me the serenity to accept all the powerlessness in me that I cannot change!! So, all the patterns of behavior (Step 6) created in me that I can’t change without His help (Step 7). I had not put that together until the other evening. My use of the Serenity Prayer was always focused on what the world was challenging me with. people, places, and things that I do not have the resources nor the responsibility to change/fix.  Liberation!

There is a much more human option to reevaluate the past as a continuing challenge to surrender ourselves to an unknown future. It is the option to understand our experience of powerlessness as an experience of being guided, even when we do not know exactly where…We can see that a growing surrender to the unknown is a sign of spiritual maturity and does not take away autonomy. .In the conviction that one of the most important parts of our lives may still be ahead of us. Henri Nouwen

I am listening to the Singing Contractors sing Wine Back Into Water. “Once upon a time you turned water into wine, I’m on my knees, I’m turning to you Father, could you help me turn the wine back into water.” 

They captured the powerlessness and the desperation of surrender. And knowing Christ as the power greater, they turned their will and life over to his care. Worth a listen.

Unmanageable:

I have become restless, irritable, and discontented. 

Can’t control anything. This is the consequences of addiction.

The lack of control over everything increases until the correct cause of unmanageable life is identified. Not the results of other’s behaviors.

We have done harm to others, and we will have to take responsibility and eventually make amends.

We want to be in control. God made in his image, so we are creators, planners, fixers, organizers, goal setters; we naturally want to be in control. These attributes are terrific when offered to God to use as he directs.

Unmanageable lives are characterized by loneliness, loss of feelings, broken relationships, resentments, uncontrollable exaggerated feelings, making rules that we ourselves don’t keep, forgetting to do things that nurture our relationships, geographical cures, fear of authority figures, confused sense of reality, a growing compulsion to control in spite of the harmful consequences. 

Hit bottom: I can’t fix myself; I’m lost.

Life becomes unmanageable when the addiction/codependency is in charge.  We have lost control to the compulsions, and we are in bondage.  Chaos, trauma, confusion, lack of power to change anything and great fear are our experiences. We are overwhelmed with guilt and shame.  We believe we have totally failed and there is not hope.  All of our best efforts only reinforce the belief that we are doomed.  We are lost.  Suicide might even begin to sound enticing.  Why not give up? There is no hope.  But giving up might just be the way out. Paradoxically admitting we can’t any more offers a door out to freedom. 

Admitted: finally, begrudgingly, resentfully, fearfully, doubting.

Admitting: an act of the mind – a decision – an acknowledgment of a truth – I have failed

Humility: Simply can’t control what is more powerful than me. I am no longer I charge of my life, my addiction is. Admitting is a positive action step. 

Ours is a program of choosing to take action; it a program of learning spiritual dependence. 

We would not come to know the love of God until we admit we can’t do what we can’t do – we are not able we must own our pride.

Using our will to choose – admitting the loss of control – loss of choice-power which is a fundamental human characteristic. 

We have an inability to “just say no.” We have to give up old to get new.

Rick Penner, In Sparkling Gems, offers this understanding of John 10:10 as how the thief called Addiction operates, creating unmanageability. “The thief wants to get his hands into every good thing in your life. In fact, this pickpocket is looking for an opportunity to wiggle his way so deeply into your personal affairs that he can walk off with everything you hold precious and dear. And that’s not all—-when he’s finished stealing all your goods and possessions, he’ll take his plan to rob you blind to the next level. He’ll create conditions and situations so horrible that you’ll see no way to solve the problem except to sacrifice everything that remains from his previous attacks. The goal of this thief is to totally waste and devastate your life. If nothing stops him, he’ll leave you insolvent, flat broke, and cleaned out of every area of your life. You’ll end up feeling as if you are finished and out of business. Make no mistake—-the enemy’s ultimate aim is to obliterate you! But I came that they might have, keep, and constantly retain a vitality, gusto, vigor, and zest for living that springs from deep down inside. I came that they might embrace this unrivaled, unequaled, matchless, incomparable, richly-loaded and overflowing life to the ultimate maximum!”

Allowing addiction gives the thief your life thus creating unmanageability.

Giving your life to Christ allows Him to grace you with recovery. 

Your choice…..

From the Good Book:

“I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful natureI do not understand my own actions. For I do not do what I want, but I do the very thing I hate.  I can will what is right, but I cannot do it. For I do not do the good that I want, but the evil that I do not want is what I do. Now if I do what I do not want, it is no long I who do it, but sin which dwells within me.”

Romans 7:18-20

“I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature, for I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out.”

Romans 7:18

“This day I call heaven and earth as witnesses against you that I have set before you life and earth, blessings and curses. Now choose life, so that you and your children may live and you may love the Lord your God, listen to his voice, and hold fast to him.”

Deuteronomy 30:19-20

“We’ve compiled this long and sorry record as sinners and prove that we all utterly incapable of living the glorious lives God wills for us.”

Romans 3:23

“He who trusts in his own heart is a fool, but he who walks wisely will be delivered.”

Proverbs 28:26