2. Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.
Came to believe…
THAT a power great than ourselves could restore us to sanity. We come to a place in our personal journey when we are forced by circumstances to look somewhere other than ourselves to find what we don’t have. A THAT which others have said has helped them find sanity in their lives.
Come to believe can be in stages. It is a life-long decision to live in dependence on a THAT which we need. We come in steps as new needs are revealed.
Out of the failure of self-control -> other -control. But the ‘other’ must be able to restore sanity. Not all ‘others’ can.
Sanity:
We have used the defense of intellectualizing, the unhealthy compulsion to figure it out – one more time, until we finally admit we can’t.
Insanity: I can’t stop doing what is harming me. It is like being caught in a riptide, there is no control. We are lost in a vortex of an internal mental and behavioral storm.
How we view ourselves at any given moment may have little to do with who we really are, we are deceived by evil lies.
We are destroying ourselves against our own will. That is insanity.
Fear is the driver:
F = Future
E = Events
A = Appearing
R = Real
Futurizing…Catastrophizing…Awfulizing…Projecting equals fear! Insanity.
A colleague of mine, Pat, tells this story. As he was talking to his therapist, the sun coming through the window kept shifting, causing him to lean away from the intensity. Leaning almost to floor, the therapist intervened and said, “Pat, you can move the chair.” He was not acting sanely.
How are you accommodating to a stressor, rather than adjusting to take care of yourself?
Sanity: soundness or health of mind: reason, rational, clear headed, stable, balance, sensible, levelheaded.
To be able to anticipate and appraise the effects of our actions.
Having full use of one’s mind and control over one’s actions.
Being able to think about what we are thinking about.
What are areas of life where we need sanity: relationships, work, health, use of time, finances, self-care such as diet, rest, and exercise, spiritual?
Remedy:
1. Came: this is a life-long process.
2. To believe: expands, grows, deepens, more accurate, progress not perfection.
3. Power greater than ourselves: needs to be a power that can, will and wants to help us. Doing for us what we can’t do for ourselves.
This step takes some humility to surrender. Use what we have and act.
Doubts? Healthy. We can be ignorant. Then we are open to new understandings.
Restore:
Grace is His love in action.
Sanity was lost when life became unmanageable.
Sanity was lost, stolen, by addiction/codependency.
Restore: gives us back the ability to recognize and act on what is true.
Restored back into our own mind, not just reactive to outside control.
A power greater than ourselves:
Is the suggestion given in this step. In our addiction/codependency we have chosen a power greater than us that has created insanity. Insanity is an older word that now has a legal meaning. “Not guilty by reason of insanity” is what we understand. We may have acted insanely, but we are not excused. We are responsible for our behavior, but we can’t restore ourselves to sane thinking, behavior, or choices. No one but God can defeat the Enemy that holds us in this bondage creating a life built on insanity, on lies. The Enemy is stronger than we are, but as Christ’s resurrection proves, that He is well able to defeat the Enemy for us. His is a power greater than the power of our bondage. He can set us free and give us sanity. He just awaits our cry for help.
Persistence:
A group of frogs were traveling through the woods, and two of them fell into a deep pit. All the other frogs gathered around the pit. When they saw how deep the pit was, they told the two frogs that they were as good as dead.
The two frogs ignored the comments and tried to jump up out of the pit with all their might. The other frogs kept telling them to stop, that they were as good as dead. Finally, one of the frogs took heed to what the other frogs were saying and gave up. He fell down and died.
The other frog continued to jump as hard as he could. Once again, the crowd of frogs yelled at him to stop the pain and just die. He jumped even harder and finally made it out. When he got out, the other frogs said, “Did you not hear us?” The frog explained to them that he was deaf. He thought they were encouraging him the entire time.
Which frog do you choose to become? The one who listened to the negative voices or the one who kept on trying. The persistent frog believed he could make it and took the voices as encouragement. These perceptions brought him freedom.
We often choose our outcome by the voices we heed. Those around us, and those in our heads. Choices…
The practice of engaging in affirmations allows us to begin replacing some of our stale, worn out, negative mind chatter, with more positive ideas and concepts. What is your mind chatter telling you? Listen to what you are thinking and make a decision to stop and replace with the truth.
I opened a fortune cookie to find: “If you never change your mind, why have one?”
Attitude of Gratitude:
I was given a bouquet of flowers, and it came time to say goodbye and thank you on the way to the trash. But I discovered one yellow carnation unscathed by time in the bunch. Instead of throwing it away with the rest, I pulled it out and stuck it an empty jar on the counter. Now I am enjoying it all by itself.
With an attitude of gratitude, we discover surprise blessings even in the midst of life’s endings and discards.
“We do not think ourselves into a new way of living. We live ourselves into new ways of thinking. Without action and lifestyle decisions, without concrete practices, words are dangerous and largely illusory.”
Preparing for Christmas, Richard Rohr
We do our way to changes and it comes by practicing, practicing and more practicing.
Do you remember the story in the Good Book of the nameless woman with the issue of blood? A powerful story in the gospels. She had used all the world’s methods to heal her from a problem that was taking her life, to no avail.
She was Powerless.
She heard about Jesus and his healing miracles and became determined to reach out and connect with him.
She reached out to a Power Greater.
She found him and touched the hem of his robe….and was connected to the power and was healed.
She Made a Decision to Turn it over to his Care.
Sound familiar? Steps 1-2-3.
“I can’t, he can, I’ll trust him to.” Keep making that decision about all of life’s powerless problems.
Maturity is the ability to make a decision and stand by it. The immature spends their lives exploring endless possibilities, then do nothing. Sigh…
Sump Pump:
A sump pump is a pump that sits in a sump, or a hole. These pumps are invaluable in climates where heavy rain, flooding and/or snowmelt routinely flood basements. They wait patiently until the water level rises and trips the float, starting the suction pump. Out goes the water. Handy gadget to have!
Addiction is like a sump pump. It waits patiently until the stress level rises and trips the float or switch in the brain, activating the addiction. Out goes the stress, carried by the addiction. Handy defense against the floods of stress.
A well installed sump pump will be at the lowest point in the basement to trigger as soon as the water level rises. It will also be connected to a drainpipe that will move the water away from the structure into a natural drainage area of the surrounding terrain. No help if the pipe is too short or not well positioned for the water simply will cycle around going nowhere fast. No help there.
Since the helpful effect of an acting out episode is short-lived, the addiction has to keep cycling around and around. Nothing changes for the better as the negative consequences only mount up as would the damage in an improperly drained structure. Deadly black mold, rotting wood, cracked foundations, infestations of bugs, to mention a few. Pretty grim.
Recovery also can be likened to a sump pump, even the one previously used for addiction. When the stresses of life begin to mount up, when the going gets rough, when life happens on life’s terms, the float gets tripped. With recovery, new tools and strategies are used to release the flooding of stress. Well positioned and well piped, the pump draws the stress away. The stressor may remain, but the emotional, physical, or relational upset becomes manageable. Sobriety is maintained.
One of the ways the pump suctions off the unmanageability, is through acts of service. Bill Wilson knew all too well that night in the hotel in Akron that the stress of losing the business deal was going to take him into the bar and another bender unless he could find a wet one to share his story with. So, he got on the phone and began calling clergy in town until finally he was connected with Dr. Bob, a stubborn drunk. AA was born. The pump had done its job. Give it away to keep it. Carry the message.
A well-maintained sump pump in the life of a recovering person is a powerful protection against relapse. Meetings, sponsors, steps, phone calls, therapy — the list grows long over time. Each application of a recovery tool keeps the pump in peak condition, ready to help. How’s your sump pump today? The floods are coming.
Activating your sump pump will get and keep you sane.
Maturity is the art of living in peace with that which we can’t change.
God, grant me the serenity to be able to accept all the stuff I can’t change!
From the Good Book:
“Humble yourselves before the Lord and He will lift you up.”
James 4:10
“I have seen how they acted, but I will heal them. I will lead them and help them, and I will comfort those who mourn. I offer peace to all both near and far.”
Isaiah 57:18-19
“Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart.”
Matther 11:29
“All scripture is inspired by God and is useful for teaching the faith and correcting error, for resetting the direction of a man’s life, and training him in good living.”
2 Timothy 3:6
“Teach me to do your will, for you are my God;May your good Spirit lead me on level ground.”
Psalm 143:10-11
“And without faith it is impossible to please God because anyone who comes to him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him.”
Hebrews 11:6
“In you, O Lord, do I put my trust and seek refuge; let me never be put to shame or disappointed; deliver me in your righteousness. Bow down your ear to me, deliver me speedily. Be my rock of refuge, a strong fortress to save me. Yes, you are my rock and my fortress; therefore, for your name’s sake lead me and guide me.”
Psalm 31:1-3
“For those who are according to the flesh and are controlled by its unholy desires set their mind-da on and pursue those things which gratify the flesh, but those who are according to the Spirit and are controlled by the desires of the Spirit set their minds on and seek those things that gratify the Holy Spirit. Now the mind of the flesh (which is sense and reason without the Holy Spirit) is death (death that compromises all the miseries arising from sin, both here and hereafter). But the mind of the Holy Spirit is life and (soul) peace (both now and forever).”
Romans 8:5-6