6. Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.

Defects of Character or Shortcomings are patterns of behavior learned in childhood to deal with the unique stressors of living. We all have them, just some are more troublesome than others. Having accepted their reality in your life, the time has come for change. These patterns of behavior are embedded in our limbic or mammalian brain. They are encoded as a way to avoid pain and seek pleasure. The good news is that our brains can be reprogramed by practicing new behaviors. The brain changes by experiences, not by thinking or feeling. We DO our way into recovery.  So, when a character defect happens – it is an alert, a signal that change is needed, it is not a failure. 

Learning by watching others, asking others what they do instead, having an accountability person such as a sponsor, all can give new directions. Learning new practices, to do your way into change.

However, we quickly learn that the “doing” needed is not strong enough to make the corrections. These broken patterns are beyond us, therefore we need to ask for help.

Resentments are the biggest danger to us, most damaging to ourselves and others. 

When there is an injury to pride, to ego, to flesh-self, we are hurt. If we nurse it, we create a resentment, which is a trap.

If we are resentful, what can we learn about us?

What is ego?  Edging God Out!  Dangerous.

Love is a healing response; to do good to those we resent.

Let other people have their feelings.

We expect critics – so practice tolerance, patience, kindness. And love and understanding

How important is it really?

Entirely ready…

Really? Accept as much as we can muster this time around. Ask God to help you be ready. Not willing? Rationalization, it’s not so bad, why is this a problem? Everyone does it. Or we blame others. Denial is an unconscious process of protecting ourselves from something we perceive as a threat, i.e. change. So, we want to keep doing it wrong.

Areas to acknowledge shortcomings: home life, social life, business life, financial affairs, spiritual life, emotional life, physical life, thought life.

Myth of perfection. The belief in it is a trap (pride). So, when fail, we have discouragement and resentments. 

Pride or humility? Pride: judgmental, critical, intolerant, boasting, bigotry. Choices. 

Beware of self-centered fear. 

Do we truly want them gone? Or only the ones we don’t like? All? Really? Maybe one at a time. There is no instant sap of removal.

These shortcomings are patterns created by upbringing, culture, events, and traumas. These are patterns of responses to some power, to act on our own behalf. We may be wrong, if so, we must identify and change. Can’t change what we don’t know. 

Defects: 

Broken, not working right, not healthy to self or others. If broken, can be fixed!

Worry is a defect. We keep trying to solve what we can’t solve. We to humbly let go and ask God. 

No contrition means we can’t admit we are wrong, so we stay stuck.

Stop the struggle – there is help – can I really be different? 

Accept that are human and fallible, there is no shame or blame, only broken. We need to be repaired. God uses our awareness and willingness to change us.

Beginning the process of discovering and recovering our true self.

We counter our tendency to futurize by learning to live one day at a time. Nothing new, God taught dependence on Him by giving manna one day at a time to His people in the wilderness. In our obedience we are enabled to obey by His generous grace. Thank you, Lord!

I call it “building the bridge before I get to the river.” I gaze expectantly into the future deciding there is a challenge ahead. I will need a way to get past it, the imagined “river. “ So I order the wood, buy the kegs of nails and get the right tools…I am all ready, but am nowhere near the river! 

Recognize futurizing? Catastrophizing? Projecting? I may get to the river, the “event”, and find a bridge already built. Or there will be no water in the river, and I’ll just walk across. Or maybe there will be a boat.  Or God will lead me a totally different way that I know not of! 

We are not created to live the future in the present. We don’t have the correct equipment for that. God is the only one who is not bound by time and knows what is ahead, as well as the plan. 

So, lay down the hammer and turn it over to God. It might turn out to be a beautiful river!

Maturity is patience, the willingness to pass up immediate pleasure in favor of long-term gain. Short term pain for long term gain: choices. 

I just realized, thanks to the prompting of Ann Voskamp, that when I worry it is because I am trying to solve a problem. I have taken God off the throne and put me on it. I am back in charge. Bill called it “self will run riot”. Arggg. 

“Heaven is by favor; if it were by merit your dog would go in and you would stay out.”

Mark Twain

God knows just where we are bound…..

Stop! Stop! Trying to do what you can’t…. give yourself the gift of emotional sobriety. That’s what your Higher Power offers.

From the Good Book:

“I appeal to you brethren, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship. Do not conformed to this world but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that you may prove (know) what is the good and acceptable will of God.”

Romans 12:1-2

“Search me O God and know my heart. Try me and know my thoughts! And see if there be any wicked way in me and lead me in the way everlasting.”

Psalm 139:23-24 

“You’ll never succeed in life if you try to hide your sins. Confess them. Give them up. Then God will show mercy to you.”

Proverbs 28:13

“Let us examine our ways and test them and let us return to the Lord.”

Lamentations 3:40

“If we refuse to admit we are sinners, we live in a world of illusion.”

1 John 1:8

“Understand this, my brethren. Let every man be quick to hear (a rowdy listener), slow to speak, slow to take offense and to get angry.”

James 1:19